Pros:
- I like Japanese food, and it’s great to be in a country where Japanese food does not come at a super premium and instead costs you the same as a kebab from the dodgy shop next door.
- Barbeque sauce. It’s probably impossible to beat Mrs. Gibson’s barbeque sauce, however in the realm of store bought sauces, Australian barrangah sauce is a little tangier and slightly less sweet than it’s less tasty American cousin.
- This city was made for motorcycles. I used to think that San Francisco was the motorcycle parking paradise of the world, but the system here puts it to shame. You can literally park your motorcycle wherever you want just as long as it doesn’t obstruct pedestrian traffic. This means that on business days in the zone where mailboxes, light posts, benches, and trash cans are—motorcycles also are.
- bars here are super cool. This one only applies to Melbourne; Sydney probably has stupid bars (please excuse the rivalry). You find the best ones in dead end allies after three turns or behind quiet unmarked doors that take you either upstairs to a rooftop bar, down to a posh basement lounge, or an open courtyard bar that is PACKED with people.
- Melbourne is a melting pot on par with New York City, which means several things both good and bad. You can get expat Indian, Chinese, and Greek food that matches England, L.A., and…Melbourne, but you also get the complete disregard for standing in lines or deodorant.
- Public sculpture in Melbourne is fantastic! Often times public art is a public obligation to put
something up. Here however, there are so many great pieces I’ve thought about putting together a scavenger hunt. Just try googling the cow in a tree in Docklands, the gold bees in South Bank, or the suffrage sculpture near the Parliament Building. Love it.
- Everyone has health insurance.
- Americans put trash and dumpsters in alleys. Melbournians put cute little cafes, restaurants and shops in them.
Cons:
- the internet setup in Australia is actually from the dark ages. One purchases internet plans based on the number of gigs they intend to use and once you spend your quota, you’re left in the dark. This is without mentioning the evils of Telstra and the government plans for internet censorship.
- a kebab from the dodgy shop next door costs the same as Japanese food.
- driving in the Melbourne CBD (Central Business District) you have to wait in the far left lane—next to the parallel crosswalk to take a right turn. This is because the tram tracks running through the city take up the space where you might otherwise have a right turn lane.
- you’d expect building and construction methods of a developed country to meet certain standards, but Australia will completely dispel those beliefs. At one end, Americans throw away or demolish anything that is below standard, and at the other Europeans will fix or repair in the same situation. In Australia things are patched with just enough effort that it will hold up for a few more moments. This doesn’t even approach the standards of the Duct-Tape-Method, but is closer to the Push-It-Back-In-Place-And-Hope-It-Sticks-There-Method. When our ceilings collapsed a few weeks ago during the storm, I looked up to see the sunlight coming through the roof sheeting in the following week. Even Tim’s apartment which is about a year old had water dripping in through light fixtures pooling in the ceiling cavity and seeping in under the walls into the carpet.
- bouncers here are often Maori dudes big enough to wrestle an ox to the ground. The also learn their behaviors from American television and will go out of their way to make your life inconvenient in miserable (whether or not you are standing in their line, and regardless of gender). If the bar is not too full, you are either not dressed well enough, not dressed right (there is a distinction to be made), too intoxicated, not on the guest list, or not on the V.I.P. list. These guys hate everything about you…unless you are a scantily clad 19-year-old girl widely accepted by American Television. Fortunately this generally only applies to the CBD.
- a six pack of cheap domestic beer costs $17 at the store. ‘nuff said.
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